The Jaded Thaumologist (jadethaum) wrote in sca_snark,
The Jaded Thaumologist
jadethaum
sca_snark

Listen up, pointy hat.

Look. Everyone before you was nice, and perfectly reasonable. I bow as often as is possible when I'm running the feast at an event. Which is whenever I see you come in and I'm not busy.

But so help me if you lecture me in my own kitchen about not bowing ever again I will hang you from a meat hook.

You'd think I wasn't holding a foot long knife.
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The Crown Rules the Kingdom - but in the Kitchen, the Cook Rules, even over the Crown.

Because, basically, burning food doesn't give a damn.
Seriously, who hassles the feastocrat? It's like asking for a rolling pin between the eyes.
Anyone who demands that other people bow to them can bite me.

Seriously, respect is earned. NOT demanded. Lecturing someone for not showing respect is not cool and is exactly who you don't deserve respect.

*sputters with rage*
Ohhhhhhh, that one's a slow learner.
Interesting. In our kingdom, the pointy-hats are only allowed in the kitchen to do dishes. :)
Pointy hats who try to sneak in to wash dishes get kicked out of my kitchen. Send in your guards or take off the pointy hat.

Pointy Hats who walk in with their retinue bearing chairs, who tell the kitchen crew to a)sit and b)tell the retinue what to do to clean up after the feast win a whole Girl Guide Troop of Seriously Big Brownie Points.
Um.. really?! :/ I'm w/ Anthraxia and Brickhousewench.

You're on a schedule (a tight one, depending on the food).

"Tell ya what... You don't lecture me about bowing and I will make sure your food isn't burnt".
This is why I station my somewhat menacing looking spouse at the door, and he is practiced at the "Can I help you your ?" said in a scary, commando voice with facial expression to match. As a general rule, people not on my approved list (me, staff, seneschal, Crown Retinue in an emergency, waterbearer in charge) don't pass the thresh hold.
Fortunately all the actual locals are lovely people. It was the visitor that seemed to be lacking in self-preservation instincts.
Yeesh. That ranks right up there with demanding bows in the bathroom... Sorry no, practicalities come first.
"...frying pan, to the bollocks..." to borrow from Maestro Izzard
"Tell ya what...take it up with the people who *paid* for their dinner....now get out".

Support on this one...you haz it....

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Given that attitude, I'm surprised you didn't get a comment for being armed in a royal presence.

Seriously. Wtf is wrong with people?

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On a funny note...a recent event in our kingdom where a territorial B&B stepped up...after the feast 6 of the dish crew were the new B&B, a B&B from another barony, and a pair of Court B&B's from that same other barony.

Along with a small crew of dedicated local folk...with no other pointy hats, local peers (royal or otherwise) in attendance.
Um... taking one's self too seriously maybe? I'm sorry you had to deal with that.